2008

Happy New Year <3

Oh Hai World.

I think I am finally appreciating my strangeness. I wish everyone could. But they can't. It's okay because I am happy with me right now for the first time in a while. I want to go celebrate. Like just run out and say, "Hey I'm Jordan, maybe you've heard of me. Oh, no? You will soon enough." Damn rules of society.

:]

In other news, super random conversation between Eric and I. This is how I get late at night when I feel saucy. I hate the word saucy.

epiphone1275 (1:01:57 AM): this year...south park marathon!!!!
epiphone1275 (1:01:58 AM): lol jk
x JJ like Whoa x (1:02:04 AM): hahaha
x JJ like Whoa x (1:02:14 AM): it's hosted by the Juno people, i sadly wouldnt mind that
epiphone1275 (1:02:30 AM): yeah youll get to see why shes like you lol
x JJ like Whoa x (1:02:54 AM): haha i guess so
x JJ like Whoa x (1:03:09 AM): i suppose i should feel honored
x JJ like Whoa x (1:03:27 AM): i mean everyone's really excited to see it, so everyone should be really excited to see me, right?
x JJ like Whoa x (1:03:33 AM): or would i have to get preggers first?
x JJ like Whoa x (1:03:35 AM): i dunno
epiphone1275 (1:03:35 AM): i dunno
epiphone1275 (1:03:43 AM): i dont think you would have to be pregnant
epiphone1275 (1:03:46 AM): but who knows
epiphone1275 (1:03:49 AM): todays society
epiphone1275 (1:03:52 AM): ...damn kids
x JJ like Whoa x (1:04:18 AM): it's true, my wit and cynicism may only be appreciated in certain currently unreachable, unwanted circumstances.
epiphone1275 (1:04:39 AM): oh most definitely
x JJ like Whoa x (1:05:21 AM): hmm, oh well at least i will have something to look forward to when/if i do get preggers eventually.
x JJ like Whoa x (1:05:39 AM): i will be forced to deal with a small child living inside me for 9 months but hey, i'll be appreciated.
epiphone1275 (1:05:52 AM): few years down the road and you can be like 'hey im finally exactly like that girl from juno' by then people will be like who
x JJ like Whoa x (1:06:04 AM): hahaha exactly
epiphone1275 (1:06:04 AM): youll be like remember you said i was like her when i was 18
x JJ like Whoa x (1:06:40 AM): and they will be like "oh yeah, well, wit was so 2007."
x JJ like Whoa x (1:07:06 AM): "today it's all about being dull and controlled...don't you know anything"
x JJ like Whoa x (1:07:15 AM): in which case i would probably just off myself.

Outside the sky waits, beckoning, beckoning

So I realized I haven't blogged as much lately, sry. I suppose there hasn't been a whole lot to talk about. Mostly I've just hung around with friends/Boy and wasted time until I could hang around with friends/Boy. I think, thusfar, there has been one night Boy and I haven't hung out. Maybe two? But I think one. The 26th, just because I was with family friends and he was recording with his band. Still, it's been really fun. Kind of a rollercoaster, as most relationships are, because it is hard to read him. Or maybe I read too much into people. There were like two days where he seemed kind of distant, but now we are back to where we were. We cuddled last night, like srsly cuddled, and I realized how much it is going to suck going back to school without him. I'm used to him just being there beside me when I look over, but instead he will be many miles away. Ughh. Either way, though, I am happy and he is happy and we still have a week and two days together. Well not just a week to be together but a week to be physically together. Or something. Whatever.

Also, seeing friends has been wonderful. But it's sort of reminded me that I reallysuperduper miss my school friends. Not that my friends aren't smart, but when I make intelligent jokes (which, I admit, is not terribly often, but whatevs), it's nice for people to get them, instead of going "HEY STFU" like my friends do. Then again, I think that's why they are my friends. They are my reality check. Yesterday I saw Daniel & Amber, with baby Alexis. Ahhhh she is so adorable! She has huge blue eyes and laughs a lot and dances. Daniel looked really good, the military helps that I suppose, and Amber makes a great mom. She's way more responsible than she was at this time last year, which is good because...you know...she has a baby.

In other friend news, the college kids from church went to Biltmore House last Sunday, which was interesting as expected. I hung out with the guys, as is par for church trips, which always amounts to adventure. Aside from making fun of me, Jake and I actually had intelligent conversations about things, instead of him just being stubborn and annoying. Has our little Jake matured? Doubt it. But whatevs. And Brian gave me my monthly amount of....I dunno the word. I mean I do but I can't think of it. Innocent optimism? Yeah that's it. Innocent optimism. He's just so cheerful all the time. It's super.

Well I think I am going to go read now, since I can do that for fun. Yay. :]

PS Kristinbear- I MISS YOU SO MUCH OMG.

Take Me To The Movies

In random news, the many, many movies I have seen since being home the 14th:

-I Am Legend
-Once
-The Condemned
-Hot Rod
-The Golden Compass
-Walk Hard
-Sweeney Todd
-The Brothers Soloman
-National Treasure 2
-The Incredibles
-Sweeney Again

Yeah that's 11 movies in 11 days. I win.

Happy Boxing Day, everyone :] <3

Christmas Bells

Jay: Yeah there are some problems you just shouldn't answer with rock paper scissors
Jordan: Ha, should we have kids?!
Mom: Yeah that's what dad and I did hahaha
Dad: I lost.

A classic Johnson family moment, no doubt.

In other news, see Sweeney Todd immediately.

And have a lovely Christmas!

Tell Me Baby

Life is lovely, you know?

1) All A's and a B in Astronomy! Hells yeah! I am a happeh little studentgirl.
2) Boyyyy. Yes please. Except it kind of freaks me out that he hasn't made it "official" yet, and I think it's because his last relationship crashed and burned a little bit, but it still worries me slightly. Kristinbear, I believes I am going to follow your lead and just bring it up myself, because honestly what's the harm? If I just say, "So, um, what are we? Like extra-great friends who sometimes like to kiss and hold hands and be all giggly together, or a for-real-don't-flirt-with-anyone-else-because-we-are-going-to-be-together-forever-except-not-really-because-we-are-18 couple." Okay maybe not exactly like that. But something to that effect. Because though I thoroughly enjoy whatever it is we are right now, I just sort of would like to know, from his perspective.

In other news, "Wilson is a greedy asshole," I am seeing Sweeney Todd tomorrow, and Walk Hard really isn't that special. Except the part where they quasi-make-fun-of Bob Dylan, that made me laugh a lot. Other than that it is spectacularly dumb.

The Most Wonderful Time of the Year

I am the happiest girl alive, I believe. No seriously.

Most dorkily, A- in Spanish! YEAHHHH! 3.8something GPA thusfar, until astronomy kicks me in the proverbial balls.

Most AMAZINGLYZOMG, Boy & I had a lovely night tonight. We just hung out, then watched Once (which was exactly what I'd hoped to do one day from the moment I first saw the movie), and tons of Robot Chicken. It's pretty great when you can laugh at the exact same things with someone, it really helps your relationship. So we are just chillin', watching RC and he just sort of looked at me and stared and smiled and cuddled closer and it was like neither of us wanted to be anywhere but exactly where we were in that moment. That is a pretty amazing feeling. Then he took me home a few minutes ago and we had teh hug timez for a long time and he just sort of looked at me and then, boom, kissed me like we'd been doing it for years. As I told him, it was the most unawkward first kiss I have ever had, just....comfortable. And wonderfulexcitingthrillingwhencanthishappenagainplz? Have I mentioned he is the best kisser out of any boy I have thusfar kissed in my life? Okay that was probably too much information but wow. I am redonkulously happy.

<333333333

Strawberry Fields Forever

AHHHH Yayayay Jordan is happy again. This seems to be a trend. Home is WONDERFUL, as expected, but I do miss Kristin and Kelsey a lot. Either way, I was out all day yesterday and today, like I have barely been home at all, but it's awesome to see so many friends.

Hung out with Jake and Patty today, post-church, which was fun except they, as usually, were assholes. I mean it's part of their charm, but I think having nice friends at college has changed my opinion of them a little. I mean, it's one thing to be funny but they really enjoy torturing me. Douches. Either way, it confirmed what I had suspected for a longlonglong time. I am officially over Jake. I mean, I suspected it for a while, but other than being pretty hot, he just has no appeal to me. Yayyyy! Only took two years.

One helping factor- BOYYYY. Mmm. We've hung out every night since I've been home (three, for the record), and had a lovely time. It's fairly customary now to hold hands and cuddle and for him to put his arm around me and it's wonderful. Like, last night he seemed kind of...I dunno more distant maybe? But tonight he was all touchy and cuddley and yayyy.

Speaking of tonight, it was excellent. I met Eric and Chad downtown for a hardcore show at a coffee shop (I know, right?). The show itself was good and the hardcore dancing was amusing but I think the best part was figuring out how awesome I am. Like, major self esteem boost. Because I looked around at all these idiot scene kids and even kids older than me that are already burnt out looking and tired. I realized, then, that I really do have my act together. I'm a successful 18 year old girl with everything ahead of her and nothing to hold her back, who loves having fun but not too much fun, who doesn't feel the need to dress exactly like everyone else to feel in place. I dunno it was just really liberating, knowing that I have a future and I have dreams and I am my own person with my own set of rules and thoughts. Not to mention it was fun hanging out with Chad and Eric because I always like the challenge of impressing the boyfriend's friends or whoever. I mean I've sort of been there done that with Chad, because he's Phil's best friend, too, but I just like establishing that reputation of being the awesome girlfriend, who is more like another friend until it comes to cutesy coupley things or whatnot. Like, I don't want to be the groupie for a group of friends, I want to contribute to conversations and laugh at jokes because I understand them and be my sarcastic, strange self. This goal, I must say, was completely met tonight. Chad and I are tight enough so that it's not super awkward for it to just be the three of us. It's just...normal. Either way, tonight was superamazing and I hope this happens again soon.

I need sleep.

One More Night

Sry for the lack of blog over the past couple days, it's been pretty hectic in my mind....so much that I couldn't find enough space to fit blogthoughts. But now that I have two exams behind me, I feel like maybe I could muster up a few coherent ideas :]

The Stats exam I just took was not as bad as I had expected, so I'm thinking maybe 80ish? Which works for me because I think I'd still get an A that way. I had a minor breakdown last night when I realized I didn't have any clue as to what the exam was on or the material or anything important like that, but like six hours of super serial studying readied me. Now the only school deal to freak out about is my astronomy exam tomorrow which I am scarily not worried about. WHAT?! I mean I have sweet cheat sheets, but I think I'm counting on them a little too much. It's almost to the point where I don't care anymore, because tomorrow, post 3 o'clock, will pwn srsly. My parents are coming then we are going Christmas shopping a little, then going home (FOR A MONTH!!!), where I get to see Boy and go to a movie with Boy and have hug timez and hand holding timez. Yayyyy! It has been 4 days since I have seen him but it feels like foreverrrr, which is very strange for me. Usually I'm all about some apart time. Like seeing each other two times a week is just fine by me. Instead, I have been thinking about tomorrow since...Sunday at approx. 4:15 PM. It's ridiculous.

I am also superduper excited because I get to talk to Patrick in person because for the last week I have been helping him through LOVECRISIS07! with his girlfriend, Claudia. She's dumb and immature and Patrick is hanging onto the past. But I say it way nicer when I say it to him. Either way, I've realized what a great friend he is, just by the little things he does. Like last Wednesday, he called and was like "Hey! Isn't your quasidate tonight?" to which I replied, "Yeah, thanks for remembering" and he said, "I hope it goes well! If you need an out, just text or something." I laughed so hard and told him he was the best nongay gay friend I have. Then, two nights ago Larkin was being a douche, as usual, and I ranted to Patty, who in turn sent him a threatening Myspace mesage. hahahahaha. Yeah he makes me giggle. Finally, this morning I woke up to a message in my inbox wishing me good luck on my exam. I lurve my bff Patty.

In other news- ZOMG I hate living by myself. I feel so antisocial and I misses my Kristinbear <3. But! Hopefully she, Annie, and I are living together next year, which would pretty much be the greatest living arrangement ever. Apartment, plz?

One exam down. Ughhh it was so long and so annoying and I just ended up getting frustrated and saying ,"screw it." Oh well, it's over at least.

...In other news I miss Boy. Like way more than I probably should.

Moments With You

epiphone1275: um lets just sayen that tomorrowz
epiphone1275: if your free at all
epiphone1275: even for ten minutes
epiphone1275: so am i
epiphone1275: like at all

<3 I has found a good boy.

PS- The spelling errors are due to a serious common love of LOL Cats.

Feels Like Home

Fourth night in a row with Boy and things just keep getting better. It always works like at first it's a little awkward between us, but then things just get going and we can't shut up and we're talkingtalkingtalking about everything and next thing you know we are sitting close and talking in a low voice and laughing at ourselves and I'm seriously rambling. But wow. Tonight we ended up going to the lake and just talking about things and looking at the stars. It's amazing how much we are alike in our dorkiness, because we ended up talking about the paranormal and scaring ourselves silly, at which point we got back in the car to talk because we wanted to be in a locked space. We just listened to music for a long time and he held my hand and it was all cute :] I got out of the car and was like "Hmm, it should be sleep timez now" and he was like "Um, I think it should be hug timez now." Seriously, if I hadn't already known that he was amazing, that should've proved it. So we had hug timez and talked about how weird it would be to go five days without seeing each other. Friday= cannot waitz. PS Have I mentioned how he got this ADORABLE striped sweater and mmm pretty.

Sorry for this ridiculously giddy post.

Critical Acclaim

This just in: JORDANBEAR IS HAPPEH.

In other news: the Mist is one of the most genious movies I have seen in a while. ZOMG to the max extreme. REDUNK.

Stay Tonight

So Boy just left, after spending approx. 8 hours with him. Oh yeah, it is 2:53 as I type this. I can't even begin to describe how fun tonight was. Like, it almost started out awkwardly, like we talked but it was sort of broken and mostly about music, which is fine but never a good sign when it is all you can talk about. Then, after dinner (which he payed for btw!!), things just sort of got going and it was way easier to just let the conversation flow. We just went to the hotspots of the greater Hky area (movie theater, Best Buy) and goofed off, then came back here to watch a movie. First off, just sitting that close to him was kind of amazing (I would call it borderline cuddling), then our friend Patrick called so we spent an hour on speakerphone with him. Since we "had to talk close to the phone" we got so close, like our faces were inches away, and though we were still just laughing and carrying on, you could definitely feel something between us. *Giggle*. Then after hanging up with teh Patty, we watched a little more Monty Python and our friend Robert called, so we talked to him, too. Finally everyone stopped calling and we started to watch the movie, but ended up talking straight through the end. After it went off (approx. 12:30) we just kept talking and talking and talking, jumping from awkward encounters to friendship to South Park to music to everything. Finally, we both sort of realized what time it was and were like "OH CRAP!" but at the same time didn't care all that much. So he stayed a few minutes, then I helped him sneak out =P At the front door I literally uttered the words "It can be hug timez now?" and he like...I guess the word embraced would be perfect...embraced me for what seemed like foreverrrr and said goodnight =) HAPPEH. Then he was like "Um, should I wait to turn my lights off til I'm out of the driveway?" hahaha. Either way, it was pretty adorable and a wooooonderful night. Have I mentioned he is extremely attractive? Mmm.

On that note, goodnight.

...In the Sky With Diamonds

So I am at home, at it is really nice, though very easy to get distracted. Like now. But whatevs. So last night was my quasidate with boy and it was quite wonderful. Nothing particularly "ZOMG!" happened, but that was perfectly fine because I just like being around him. It's so easy to just carry on a conversation, to feel perfectly comfortable around him. Yayyy. Not to get particularly girly and giggly here, but when we were watching the movie, we sat superclose and just sort of got closer as the night went on, which was nice. I had almost forgotten that butterflies in your stomach sort of feeling, but it's back with full force. I love that feeling. I also loved being able to see stars last night. When boy was leaving, I went outside, just to check if I could see anything, so I looked up and BAM sky full of stars. I miss that, too, because in CH you can see nothing. But I looked up and saw Orion, Casseopia, even Taurus and his red eye. Just thinking about how far away they are and how even that distance is tiny compared to the size of the universe. It is so breathtaking. Anyways, the night went well AND he definitely asked me to hang out again tonight :] Happy Jordan! Haha.

<3

In Wonder

Do you ever wonder if someone you pass is listening to the same song on their iPod as you are on yours? Because I do. I mean, what if you are supposed to be best friends and you just walk by, unknowing that you have so much in common? That would be terrible.

Life on Standby

And so begins yet another blogging adventure, but of the collegeland variety. I mean I have tons of blogs from high school (Livejournal, Xanga, you name it), but I think it's time to start fresh. I will preface this by saying that I often neglect my blogs due to the fact that I write in a real journal (*Gasp*, in the 21st century?!), but I think due the fact that I am at my computer 75% of my waking hours, a blog would just be more convenient. At least for a while.

Also, differently than past blogs, I am giving no background whatsoever. In medias res, if you will (Oh fancy, Jordan). If you don't know me, well...you will learn =)

Today, as of 3:26 PM:
I just finished the lab report of my entire life (if all goes as planned), and I could not be happier. Except, you know, I could...because it was also probably the worst lab report of my entire life, but semesteritus kicked in about halfway through November and at the point I could honestly care less. So, now I am procrastinating on doing Astronomy homework before going to Hill to turn in my band uniform. I recently decided that this is officially my last year in band. I know, I know, I always say that. But seriously this time. I just have so many things I want to do here, and I have ALWAYS been a band kid. It's time to be something else...maybe similar but not a band kid. Plus the people, though alright, are not my high school band friends, and every time I am reminded of that I get depressed. So, el fin. No more. I did, however, have a surprising moment of nostalgia for concert band the other day, which disturbed me. I hated concert band, or at least I thought I did. I just wanted to sit down and play my flute and be challenged and do some fancy runs. Actually, I remember why I had that nostalgia. I was sitting in Duke Chapel listening to a floutist and she was amazing and I thought of playing in church the past few years, then missed that. Surprising as it is, I really do love to be in the spotlight, and that was sort of my thing at church. I was music girl (bum bum bum bummmmm). Well, I was a lot of things. I was an organizer, preformer, advisor, instigator, troublemaker -- lots of things I was not able to be anywhere else. I think that's why I miss church so much. I could let out EVERY part of my personality, not censor things people wouldn't like. I could be sarcastic and funny and friendly and weird all at the same time, whereas normally I have to pick and choose, based on who I am around. Thankfully, I still talk to my church friends so I don't feel lost.

Most excitingly, tomorrow I have a quasi-date with Boy! Do I need to elaborate? I haven't seriously had a chance at a relationship in nearly a year, since Phil. It's not that I didn't have a shot with anyone, it just seemed like nothing could ever align perfectly. I couldn't have a boy that I liked a lot who liked me back and wasn't afraid to show it, who wanted to spend time with me and who was interesting. It was always someone being interested in me and me not seriously being interested in them, or me liking someone who never clearly showed their feelings, so I would have to analyze EVERY little thing they said and obsess over the moments in which I was sure we were right and debate as to whether or not I was just not good enough or not interesting enough or not forward enough or too forward or....oh sorry that was a rant. Can you tell I'm slightly bitter? Either way, tomorrow night I have a quasidate with a guy who is funny, interesting, intelligent, adorable, musical, and...interested in me. It's about time.

Okay I'm out for the moment.