Strawberry Fields Forever

AHHHH Yayayay Jordan is happy again. This seems to be a trend. Home is WONDERFUL, as expected, but I do miss Kristin and Kelsey a lot. Either way, I was out all day yesterday and today, like I have barely been home at all, but it's awesome to see so many friends.

Hung out with Jake and Patty today, post-church, which was fun except they, as usually, were assholes. I mean it's part of their charm, but I think having nice friends at college has changed my opinion of them a little. I mean, it's one thing to be funny but they really enjoy torturing me. Douches. Either way, it confirmed what I had suspected for a longlonglong time. I am officially over Jake. I mean, I suspected it for a while, but other than being pretty hot, he just has no appeal to me. Yayyyy! Only took two years.

One helping factor- BOYYYY. Mmm. We've hung out every night since I've been home (three, for the record), and had a lovely time. It's fairly customary now to hold hands and cuddle and for him to put his arm around me and it's wonderful. Like, last night he seemed kind of...I dunno more distant maybe? But tonight he was all touchy and cuddley and yayyy.

Speaking of tonight, it was excellent. I met Eric and Chad downtown for a hardcore show at a coffee shop (I know, right?). The show itself was good and the hardcore dancing was amusing but I think the best part was figuring out how awesome I am. Like, major self esteem boost. Because I looked around at all these idiot scene kids and even kids older than me that are already burnt out looking and tired. I realized, then, that I really do have my act together. I'm a successful 18 year old girl with everything ahead of her and nothing to hold her back, who loves having fun but not too much fun, who doesn't feel the need to dress exactly like everyone else to feel in place. I dunno it was just really liberating, knowing that I have a future and I have dreams and I am my own person with my own set of rules and thoughts. Not to mention it was fun hanging out with Chad and Eric because I always like the challenge of impressing the boyfriend's friends or whoever. I mean I've sort of been there done that with Chad, because he's Phil's best friend, too, but I just like establishing that reputation of being the awesome girlfriend, who is more like another friend until it comes to cutesy coupley things or whatnot. Like, I don't want to be the groupie for a group of friends, I want to contribute to conversations and laugh at jokes because I understand them and be my sarcastic, strange self. This goal, I must say, was completely met tonight. Chad and I are tight enough so that it's not super awkward for it to just be the three of us. It's just...normal. Either way, tonight was superamazing and I hope this happens again soon.

I need sleep.